Being an unmarried 22 year-old woman, of course I have this idea in my head of what kind of man I want to say “I do” to one day. How this man should be, in my opinion, changes a lot. At one time I thought I wanted a man who liked to dress up all the time, but the more I wear heels around the more I realize I want a man just as happy with his jeans and tee as he is with a suit and tie. At one time I thought this mystery husband should always be hilarious, making me laugh every moment. But again, I have changed my mind. I sure want a man who can make me giggle and laugh, but he also needs to know when to be serious and when to take me seriously. I could go on about the changes I have made, but instead let’s switch gears to the additions and the concrete.
I have always wanted a man who loved the Lord first and foremost. There should be nothing (not even me) that he loves more than his Lord and Savior, Jesus. I refuse to ever change or modify this “must-have” in my mystery husband.
As I dig deeper into the Word and gain more insight into life that comes with growing up, I keep finding more things that biblically make sense to add into what my mystery husband should be like. It’s quite wonderful that I don’t have to come up with these “must-have” or “should-have” qualities on my own, I just have to find ’em in God’s Word. After all, every father does raise his daughter with some idea of the man he will one day be willing to give her to. God is no different. He’s such a good Daddy.
As I was reading in God’s Word today, I was reading in 1 Kings about King Solomon. Now if you grew up in Sunday school like I did, you already know the story of Solomon and what he is famously known as: the wisest man in history. I don’t know about you, but I sure wish I could’ve met Solomon and learned from him. People filled with wisdom, especially wisdom straight from God as with Solomon, are always intriguing to me.
Anyway, I came to 1 Kings 2:19 and it hit me: since I want a wise man to call my husband one day, I’m going to have to find one who loves his momma and respects her. That is what wise men do. If you’re a little confused at how I can make such a definitive statement, then keep on reading. I’m about to explain it.
In 1 Kings 2:19, Bathsheba comes to King Solomon to ask him something. Now, King Solomon was quite the royal being the newly anointed king and the son of King David. So this Bathsheba comes to him as he is on his throne — so, you know, at his workplace — and wants to talk to him. This Bathsheba is his mother. (Making more sense now? I hope so!)
King Solomon could’ve dismissed Bathsheba with as much as a “Mom, I’m at work. I’m busy. We can talk later.” But he didn’t. No, when Solomon saw his mother approaching him, he stood up to greet her. What a respectful son! I love when a man will stand up when a lady walks into a room. Solomon further demonstrates his respect and love for his mother by bowing to her. The King bowed to his mother. That’s a big deal. The King is the one who others bow to, not the one who bows to others. Yet, we see here the wisest man on Earth bowing to his mother as a sign of respect. Precious, just simply precious! As a final and beautiful act of respect for his momma, King Solomon sits back on his throne as his mother sits down on a throne he had placed for her there at his right hand. He didn’t make her stand to approach his kingship. He didn’t have some fold-out chair or stool brought before him so she could chat. No, he had a throne for her to sit in. Notice the placement of the throne, too. It wasn’t placed in front or behind or way off to the side of his. He had his mother’s throne placed at his right hand because that’s how he treated her — as his right hand woman. Wow!
Now, I’m not a mother but to all you mommas out there: isn’t that what you want to see your son(s) grow up to be like? Mommas are sure important — and a real man will treat them that way.
To the momma that I will one day call my mother-in-law: your son is going to treat you like Solomon treated Bathsheba. You will always have a place of honor in his life, one that I will never try to take the place of. Additionally, I will probably often admire the respect that my husband (your son) has for you because I know he will teach any son(s) that we may have to grow up treating me like that. What a precious circle, right? Future mother-in-law, wherever you are and whomever you are, thank-you for raising up a man who treats his mother with respect. Thank-you for raising up a wise man that I will be able to call my husband.
To my future/mystery husband: You will be a wise man. You will be a wise man who, like King Solomon, respects and loves his momma. You are always allowed and, in fact, you are required to make sure that your mother always feels loved, heard, and taken care of. I know in-laws are often stresses on marriages, but ours won’t be. Your love and respect for your mother (your father, too) is going to be contagious and I’ll follow suit. On an ending note, I’d just like to say to you — thank-you for being a biblical picture of respect. It means a lot, truly it does.
“So Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him about Adonijah. The king stood up to greet her, bowed to her, sat down on his throne, and had a throne placed for the king’s mother. So she sat down at his right hand.” – 1 Kings 2:19 (HCSB)