I think we, as a societal whole, have chosen standards that are grotesquely inaccurate for men.
Look around. Everywhere is telling men that for them to be real that they have to be: strong and wealthy.
But what if that’s all wrong?
I do think men need to be strong, but not from hours in the gym or an emotional detachment. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a man with muscles. However, I appreciate a man who derives his strength from his faith in the God more. Way more. A man who knows that strength is found when he admits his weakness to God and allows God to BE his strength is the best kind of man. Oh, and men, you are human. You can have emotions. If you are sad, it’s okay to be sad. If you are excited, it’s okay to be excited. If you are disappointed, you can be disappointed. If you’re happy, it’s okay to be happy. Seriously, I don’t know a single lady who has ever preferred a man who shows no emotions at all. That isn’t considered “strong” — it’s considered sociopathic. I recently had a conversation with a male friend of mine who admitted that he didn’t want to seem weak to anyone, so instead he just pushes them away. Don’t be that man.
And now in steps the topic of money. It’s often assumed that women want to marry a wealthy man. Why? Because many girls do. But do you know why girls flock towards men with money? It’s a stability and thing. Women see having an abundance of money as a life of stability. (Of course, you do still have those women who just marry money because they are amoral shopaholics — but they’re the exception, not the rule.) Be a man who is stable to a woman, and the money part won’t matter as much. Now, a man should want to work and help (notice I didn’t say solely do) provide for his wife/family, but I think it’s a nasty pseudo-requirement for society to tell men that they are less of a man for not having a higher monetary value in their bank accounts. Men: you are the same YOU whether you make $170,000 a year or $17,000 a year. Don’t let a woman or a society of women tell you that the higher the number, the more valuable you are as a person. It’s a lie.
Ladies, you’re ruining good men by telling them they disqualify as a man if they don’t meet your made up and irrational requirements. Men, by believing those lies you are disqualifying yourself.